Fading Stars Rewritten
by Kitasky123
Summary: fading stars rewritten. the timeline is different, longer but some things will still be the same.  This is set after Edward left Bella. Bella is very different as she tries to fill the hole left behind. She pushes away all who try to help her, except one
1. Realisations

Bella's POV

I can see his beautiful eyes right in front of me. I feel his smooth, cold fingers tracing patterns into my back. Smell his sweet scent all around me. Last of all I feel the soft way he kisses me, so gentle as not to hurt me. His cool marble lips pressed against mine.

I abrubtly sit up, my chest heaving with sobs that I try to drown out with my fist, feelings from my dream still washing over me. I wish so much that I could hold him in my arms. Have him whisper sweet nothings in my ear like he used to. I need for him to be here with me, I need him to tell me that it was all just a bad dream.

I still love him so much.

'No, no, no, no, no. Don't think of him like that!" My head screams. "You can't think of him like this"

And once again it hits me.

He's gone and he is never coming back. No matter how much I kid myself, I am never going to see him again.

"I need to give this stupid fantasy up." I lecture myself.

It has been a year since Edward left me and I am still trying to fool myself into thinking I will see him again.

I have moped around this house doing everything I did before Edward up and left me. With one exception, every small noise I hear, every scrape against my bedroom window, every small whisper in the wind, my heart starts racing and my palms get sweaty. I start hyperventilating and nearly pass out. I have deluded myself into thinking he will come back. And since he used to always come in through my window, I've left it open for him.

I know it is stupid to do this because in my head I know he is never, ever coming back for me. But my heart won't let the hope go.

I know I have to change. I can't be the sad, depressed girl anymore. I can't spend my life in the back ground because the love of my life left me. I have to change and the sooner I do this, the better it will be.

But I don't know if I can truly give up on Edward. I don't know how.

The sound of Charlie's cruiser pulling up in the driveway broke me out of my daydream.

I run down the stairs quickly. I forgot to put something on for Charlie's tea so I guess it will have to be left over spaghetti bolognaise. Once I reach the kitchen I quickly put the bowl in the microwave.

I am too worn out to worry if Charlie will be annoyed or not. Lately other people's emotions have not fazed me in the slightest. I can't seem to make myself care.

I can hear him opening the door and hanging up his gun belt just inside the door.

"Bella, I'm home!" He calls loudly. "Where are you?"

"In the kitchen, Dad." I reply.

I place Charlie's tea on the table just as he sits down. He grunts a 'thanks' in reply and starts to shovel down his food.

"Are you having anything?" He asks cautiously.

"No," I answer, "I had something earlier and I'm still full. I've got homework to do."

This is only slightly true and I think he realises it.

I pick up my bag from the corner and quickly head up stairs to get out of the room under the pretences of starting on my homework. I can feel Charlie's anxious stare on my back as I start up the stairs, but I don't turn around and I hear Charlie slowly turn away to start on his food again.

I know he is worried about me but I can't seem to help feeling angry. My emotions have been all over the place lately and his constant concern about me is beginning to get on my nerves.

All of a sudden the carpet at the top of the stairs is rushing towards me. I had forgotten to watch where I was walking. I land with a muffled bang on the floor.

I sit up and mentally check for injuries. My stomach kind of hurts from landing on the books but other than that I think am fine.

"You ok Bells?" Charlie called anxiously from the kitchen.

"Fine dad," I answer. "Just tripped on a stair."

I can hear his laughing. "That's my girl." He mutters to himself, not realising I can hear him.

"Stupid, clumsy idiot." I scold myself.

I am really starting to hate myself right now. Everything about myself reminds me instantly why I need Edward so much.

"_Needed_ Edward so much." I internally correct myself. "I don't need him anymore. I know I don't."

Once again my head and my heart are feeling two completely different things.

"Why does everything have to be so confusing?" I think.

I feel the need for a shower so I dump my home work in my room and head to the bathroom instead.

I roughly turn the taps on and put it as hot as I can without burning myself. The hot water is soothing and it instantly calms me down.

"I need to change," I think, "but how?"

_A/N _

_Ok. So this is the first re-written chapter for Fading Stars. It is similar to how it was in the original story. I only changed a few things because the story started of how I wanted it but this will be one of the only chapters that will be mostly the same. the time line is changing so i'm pretty sure the next few chapters will be different._


	2. Planning

Chapter Two-Planning

Bella's POV

I walk down the stairs, wiping the sleep out of my eyes and yawning. I walk towards the noise in the kitchen and slump down at the table. I rest my head on the table and close my eyes, my head poundind from lack of sleep.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asks anxiously.

I look up slightky and murmur "nothings wrong. I just didn't get much sleep last night. The wind kept blowing twigs into my window all night."

Charlie watched me carefully for a few moments before nodding and turning back to the toaster.

It was a believable excuse but completely false.

The real reason I didn't sleep was because I couldn't. I knew if I slept, I would dream. I couldn't let myself do that. It hurt way to much.

"Would you like waffles?" Charlie asks. "There is fruit salad and icecream to go with them. I brought it all last night."

He turned around to look at me and his speech died out when he saw me looking at him incrediously.

"I remembered that they were your favourite when you were little." He murmured meekly, his voice gravely. "But maybe I should have realised that you would have grown out of them. I should have asked first. Don't worry I can cook you something else."

"NO!" I shout, starlting him. "I just couldn't believe you remembered. You remembered everything even what I have on them... wait did you get chocolate syrup?"

"Yeah," Charlie said, his face still surprised by my outburst. "I forgot to mention it was in the cupboard."

"Well load up a plate for me," I replied, the first truely genuine smile in a while spreading across my face. "I'm starving."

Charlie chuckled then began to load up a plate. I noticed he stacked it three high, with fruitsalad and icecream piled on top.

"Here ya go," he said, gesturing grandly, "Is this enough for ya?"

I took the plate and ran for the syrup.

"It's perfect." I answer.

The look of hapiness on his face makes me feel so bad for lying to him. But if I told him the truth... well if I told him the truth I think I would be a second away from being in a loony bin. _(NOT MEANING TO CAUSE OFFENSE!)_

I stuff the waffles into me, I really was starving.

"WOAH!" Charlie exclaims. "Someone really is hungry."

I just nod and keep eating.

Once I finish, I stand up and wash my plate.

"Thanks Charlie." I smile, "I'm glad you remembered."

He smiles and hugs me awkwardly. "I can't believe you would think that I would forget your favourite breakfast. Even if it isn't exactly the healthiest and your mother would probably kill me if she knew."

"Good thing she doesn't then." I laugh. "Anyway I gotta go otherwise I will be late for school."

He nods and lets me go. "Have a good day."

"I will." I answer, all though I am lying.

My happy mood fades away as I walk out of the house. I still believe that Edward will be sitting outside in his car waiting for me. Everytime I realise he isn't, my heart plummets and whatever progress I have made at feeling happier imediatly leaves me.

"I need a plan." I think. "I need to be different. It's not enough to go back to how I was before Edward came into my life. Because if I think about it, I wasn't truly happy then either. I need a complete makeover but I don't know how to get it."

During my drive to school, my head is lost in thoughts and I pull into the parking lot with no real idea of how I got there.

As I pull into a parking spot, somebody pulls in beside me. To begin with I don't pay much attention. But when I get out of my truck, I bump into them.

"Oh my god!" I exclaim. "I am so sorry. I was in my own little world and wasn't even paying attention."

"It's alright." He smiles. "I'm Matt."

I shake his hand. "I know. You have a reputation. I'm Bella."

"Ah I'm glad to see my reputation follows me." He grins at me. He seems almost like a child.

"Yeah it does. Most people don't even know you but they definitely know of you." I mummur and begin walking towards the front doors.

"Hey wait up!" Matt shouts after me. "Do ya just wanna skip class and hang out?"

"Uh..." I begin. "I can't. Maybe another time ok?"

"I will hold you to that." He says and runs off towards the gym.

I start to walk again while thinking about what he had just said.

"Maybe..." I think. "Maybe Matt is just what I need. He is so different from what I used to be. But can I actually do this?"


End file.
